How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (or Jerkette)

March 19th, 2010

Great article in the Ogden Standard Examiner about USU Extension Agent Naomi Weeks’ eight week course! (Article courtesy of http://www.standard.net)

Students learn how to avoid dating a jerk
By admin
Created Mar 17 2010 – 4:46pm
Standard-Examiner correspondent
OGDEN — Ogden High School sophomores Mariela Arevalu and Nancy Chavez asked a simple
question in one of their class tutorials that sparked a whole class series: “Why do I always like the
guys that are the jerks?”
Their teacher, Suzie Davis, noticed the question and wondered how she could help her students
with this problem. She found the answer while working out the gym.
“I noticed this flyer on the wall about how to avoid dating a jerk and called about it,” Davis said.
The class, offered by the Utah State University Extension service, was originally set up for adults to
take and is called, “How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (or Jerkette),” but USU Extension agent
Naomi Weeks has just started teaching the eight-week course in junior high and high schools.
“I think it’s a great idea because relationships are the single biggest roadblock to kids getting their
education and getting through college,” Davis said.
The course is being taught to her AVID class, a class set up for students to help them get good
grades in high school and prepare for college.
Students just had their third lesson from Weeks this week and it is already changing the way many
are thinking about dating.
“We need to get to know them first,” Chavez said of “falling” for guys too quickly. Both girls are also
glad there are boys in the class to hear the perspective as well.
“It is very educational. I am already evaluating the way I am with my significant other,” said
sophomore Eli Morales.
Weeks pulled out a large poster with a scale for five different subjects: know, trust, rely,
commitment and touch and asked for volunteers to come up and evaluate a relationship in their life
by using the scale. Weeks explained to students that it takes at least three to six months for people
to get to know people as their “true self” in a relationship. Many students were surprised by that,
but then it made sense.
“The chart is really interesting and now I know a guy should treat me right and have commitment
and trust,” said sophomore Carolina Lopez.
The course has an accompanying book with questions and evaluation segments that the students
work on each week. Weeks also shares personal experiences with the students that she hopes they
can relate to. One of the topics of the class relates to families and how big of a role they play in how
people are in relationships.
She told students to pay attention to how that person you are dating is with other people.
“If they are lying to other people when they are around you, they are eventually going to lie to
you,” Weeks said. The students nodded in agreement.
Weeks likes teaching the course to high school students because they are in a place to be ready to
talk about dating issues. In junior highs it has been a bit different.
“The class is good for them (junior high students) just to learn about relationships,” Weeks said.

“Students learn how to avoid dating a jerk”

Mar 17 2010

OGDEN — Ogden High School sophomores Mariela Arevalu and Nancy Chavez asked a simple question in one of their class tutorials that sparked a whole class series: “Why do I always like the guys that are the jerks?” Their teacher, Suzie Davis, noticed the question and wondered how she could help her students with this problem. She found the answer while working out the gym.

“I noticed this flyer on the wall about how to avoid dating a jerk and called about it,” Davis said.

The class, offered by the Utah State University Extension service, was originally set up for adults to take and is called, “How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (or Jerkette),” but USU Extension agent Naomi Weeks has just started teaching the eight-week course in junior high and high schools.

“I think it’s a great idea because relationships are the single biggest roadblock to kids getting their education and getting through college,” Davis said.

The course is being taught to her AVID class, a class set up for students to help them get good grades in high school and prepare for college.

Students just had their third lesson from Weeks this week and it is already changing the way many are thinking about dating.

“We need to get to know them first,” Chavez said of “falling” for guys too quickly. Both girls are also glad there are boys in the class to hear the perspective as well.

“It is very educational. I am already evaluating the way I am with my significant other,” said sophomore Eli Morales.

Weeks pulled out a large poster with a scale for five different subjects: know, trust, rely, commitment and touch and asked for volunteers to come up and evaluate a relationship in their life by using the scale. Weeks explained to students that it takes at least three to six months for people to get to know people as their “true self” in a relationship. Many students were surprised by that, but then it made sense.

“The chart is really interesting and now I know a guy should treat me right and have commitment and trust,” said sophomore Carolina Lopez.

The course has an accompanying book with questions and evaluation segments that the students work on each week. Weeks also shares personal experiences with the students that she hopes they can relate to. One of the topics of the class relates to families and how big of a role they play in how people are in relationships.

She told students to pay attention to how that person you are dating is with other people.

“If they are lying to other people when they are around you, they are eventually going to lie to you,” Weeks said. The students nodded in agreement.

Weeks likes teaching the course to high school students because they are in a place to be ready to talk about dating issues. In junior highs it has been a bit different.

“The class is good for them (junior high students) just to learn about relationships,” Weeks said.

Weeks will be teaching the class at Ben Lomond High School and also teaches the class at the Department of Workforce Services. She also teaches the class occasionally for adults.

Chavez is enjoying the class and appreciates the fact that her teacher got the course going.

“She actually listened to me. She heard us whining a lot about guys,” Chavez said.

For more information on the course or where it is being offered, visit www.strongermarriage.org

17 Responses to “How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (or Jerkette)”

  1. Mariana says:

    After reading the article, I feel that I need more information on the topic. Can you suggest some resources please?

  2. Evan P. says:

    Sounds like an interesting class. Thanks for the read.

  3. Andrew says:

    I think a class like this should be taught all over the united states. When it comes to trying to find love you need to know what not to do before what to do. Being taught at the junior high level I think is a must

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  5. lida says:

    Sounds like an interesting class. Thanks for the read.

  6. Divya says:

    “I think it’s a great idea because relationships are the single biggest roadblock to kids getting their education and getting through college,” Davis said.

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  7. Brian says:

    Anyone knows if the accompanying book in the course will be available for the public? This could be a good book to read for youngsters. This is good topic to discuss with children so they have a good idea on how to choose the one they want to date with. The USU has started a good move on this topic, but I believe more in discussion within the family. Wherein the parents discuss this with the children first at home, so the young ones will have a good insight about this topic.

    Good topic.

  8. strongermarriage says:

    Thanks Brian – we will check on this and let you know.

  9. strongermarriage says:

    Brian – to answer your question, there is a parent guide on the LoveThinks.com website if your children are taking the No Jerks class. There are also young adult workbooks available. However, if a parent wants to begin discussions at home, we’d recommend buying the book, “How To Avoid Falling In Love With a Jerk (or Jerkette)” and a mini RAM board–creating discussions from that. The book is available from the LoveThinks website or Amazon or a local bookstore. The mini RAM board is available only through the LoveThinks.com website. Hope this helps! Thanks for your comment.

  10. GraphicDown says:

    Stuff everyone should see this wonderful

  11. Richard Dale says:

    I like this article. After reading it, It have great input on how and why not to fall in love with a jerk. I really love that part when she said. get to know them first,” Chavez said of “falling” for guys too quickly. There are three subjects we should learn before dating and going into marriage with that person those five I read was know, trust, rely, commitment and touch. We should always consider the person before marriage. That is a good place to start if you what a good marriage. This catch my eyes. If they are lying to other people when they are around you, they are eventually going to lie to you. that’s true Don’t marry a fool. The fear of the lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fool despises wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7) What is a fool? What is the definition? Unintelligent or thoughtless person: somebody who is regarded as lacking good sense or judgment somebody who looks or is made to appear ridiculous, or who behaves in a ridiculous way. Because there is, one thing a fool does not have and that is no wisdom. Knowledge of everything but how to perform or accomplish and to carry it out in action they have no clue. Which this article said it right, how to avoid falling in love with a fool. So again thank you for that wonderful topic.

  12. Boolioolie Skyluck says:

    I fell in love with the meanest guy! He was so mean and I took this class and it changed my life 4ever i am serious yall. he was all up in my grill all the time and it was getting scare so I got out f ther..,… it was the best decisin i e ver made.

  13. Sounds very very interesting class for me .

  14. Hey I discovered this website to be actually fascinating! Bookmarked!

  15. Gayle Speyer says:

    When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks!

  16. strongermarriage says:

    Gayle-

    Unfortunately we can’t change that from our end since you checked the box. I’m sorry for the frustration of the emails. Sorry we can’t be of more help!

    StrongerMarriage.org

  17. rond says:

    Sounds very interesting

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