Building Respect, Confidence & Appreciation

December 15th, 2010

Dr. John Gottman says that deep friendship protects against feeling adversarial toward your partner when inevitable irritations arise. Can you create an atmosphere of mutual respect, confidence and appreciation?

1. Respect

Nurture your partner’s sense of self by being attentive, being fair in your judgment of their opinions, really listening to them and by being sensitive to their thoughts and feelings.  Beware of character attacks (insults, mockery) even if you’re angry.

2.  Confidence

Confidence from you will serve to build your mate’s own self-confidence.  Provide your mate with affirmations and words of encouragement.  Vocally recognize their strengths and talents.  Become their “I believe in you” cheerleader.

3.  Appreciation

Express appreciation often for what your partner does.  Let them know that they matter and are needed.  Show understanding and appreciation in words (Thank You, I Love You!) and deeds (Hugs & Kisses, Nurturing).

Men and Women pretty much want the same thing.  The trick is to provide it to one another!

Respect, Confidence, Appreciation—3 things that can foster a happy, healthy marriage.