RELATE: What You Need To Know

May 11th, 2011

So far, we’ve discussed what the RELATE Questionnaire is and what you can learn from it. Now, we are going to discuss some important points you should know if you decide to take RELATE.

On the RELATE Institute website it says, “The RELATionship Evaluation Questionnaire (RELATE) guides engaged and dating couples to have meaningful discussions about criteria proven to affect marital satisfaction. Identifying trouble spots and common ground using RELATE often helps people determine whether to continue, deepen, or end the relationship. For marrieds, RELATE helps couples understand and improve their most important relationship.”

It is important to understand that the RELATE Report is not a relationship fortune teller. But instead it is up to you to be responsible with what you do with that information and how you want to use it (or not use it) to improve your relationship. The results of the RELATE test are just a snapshot of your relationship on the day you took it. This means that depending on how you were feeling that day, or your perceptions of yourself and your relationship, there can be some variability in your results from one day to the next. So approach the results objectively and not with fear that you aren’t right for each other.

It is also important to be honest while filling out the RELATE questionnaire. In order to obtain accurate results and have an open and honest discussion with your partner, you should not be afraid to answer the questions truthfully so you can give your relationship the best chance to improve.

With all those disclosure statements out of the way, I wanted to discuss some important sections about the RELATE Report that I found helpful when my husband and I had a RELATE facilitator help us interpret our results. After you take the RELATE test, you too can get help interpreting your results by going here and emailing any of the RELATE facilitators.

On the RELATE Profile it will show a little legend to interpret your graphs.

This legend will also be at the lower right-hand corner of each page in the profile.

There are three different colors areas in the graphs: red zone, white zone, and green zone. The red zone means this is a challenge area or a risk factor in your relationship. The white zone means it is a cautionary area that might need some discussion to strengthen. And the green zone indicates a strength area.

Notice the different colored sections

The labels on the left (Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Often, Very Often) reflect the answers that were used in the RELATE questionnaire. Although the graph above looks like my answers and my husband’s answered differed quite a bit, the intervals are actually small and our scores were quite similar. (TIP: Don’t get too caught up in small differences in the size of the bar graphs!) However, when differences are large, that’s an indication that you and your partner may want to have a discussion on why your answers are so different from each other.

While going through your RELATE Report, try to ask each other, “How do you feel about this?” or “Do you think this graph is an accurate description of our answers?” If you don’t agree with what the graphs portray, go look at each other’s answers and see where the discrepancy might lie.

Also, approach the Report with the mindset of “What kind of improvements can we make?” or “What should we do differently or keep the same based on this report?” This will help you look at the results more objectively and be able to start a meaningful discussion to improve your relationship.

The RELATE Questionnaire has 276 questions and takes about 35 minutes to answer. There is also a READY Questionnaire that is for individuals who are not currently in a relationship but would like to be in one in the future. This questionnaire has 172 questions that cover premarital factors that could influence marital quality. READY takes about 25 minutes to complete.

The RELATE Questionnaire is a wonderful tool to help couples improve their relationship. I know my relationship has benefitted from taking the quiz by helping my husband and I to be more aware of our trouble areas. I hope after reading these last few posts you have learned a little more about the RELATE Institute and will go take the questionnaire for yourself! If you have taken RELATE or READY before, how did it impact your relationship? Share in the comments.