To Love and To Cherish

October 12th, 2011


my husband and I, May 2009

On the anniversary of 9/11, my husband and I were mad at each other. Like, pretty contentious mad. Feelings were hurt, we were annoyed with each other, and there was just a huge problem with communication the whole day. And to make the situation worse, he was leaving to go out of town for an interview the next day.

I am not proud of this day. 

At one point, after we both kind of snapped, I laid in bed reading and looking at websites on my phone because I couldn’t sleep. I knew I should apologize, I knew I was being petty, I knew a lot the argument was my fault, but I have a really big problem with pride and I really hate caving in.

While I was perusing Facebook, I started reading all the different statuses people posted about remember 9/11 and honoring those who died. I then remember reading one in particular saying that the biggest lesson they learned from the 9/11 attacks was to hold your loved ones close and to cherish them.

I’m sure you can guess what happened next. I felt so guilty! I realized what a huge jerk I was being and that I really wasn’t cherishing my husband at all! I immediately got up, swallowed my pride, and went to my husband to ask for forgiveness.

At that point, it didn’t matter whose fault it was or who was meaner to whom. What mattered is that we loved each other & cared for each other but just lost sight of what we have for a second. I knew I needed to show my husband how much I cared and how much I truly loved him.

Jason Carroll and Elizabeth VanDerBerghe taught, “Love is something we do, something we can control, and ultimately something we can choose.”

So my question to you is this: How often do we all lose sight of what really matters? How often do we all forget to truly cherish our loved ones in our every day actions through life? How often do we say I love you? Or give hugs? Or give kisses?

I know I have a lot to work on! I’m definitely not perfect. But I know that if I try hard to keep that long-term perspective of what life, marriage, and family is all about, I will be able to more fully cherish and love those close to me.

What are some ways you try to keep your loved ones close and cherish them often?