Couple Inventory for the New Year

December 28th, 2011

As the New Year approaches, people are starting to think of new resolutions and goals to make. But along with the goal to go to the gym more often, what about also making new goals that will help you have a happier marriage?

Although it is always good to have regular discussions with your spouse about how you can improve your relationship, the New Year is a good time to have a couple inventory discussion about how the last year was and how you want to improve in the coming year.

Since I love lists (as I’m sure you have noticed from the last few posts), I made a list of goal ideas that you can discuss with your partner going into 2012.

1. Finances. This is kind of a big one. And probably some people already set it as a personal goal. But going through your budget for the last year and setting new financial goals is a great way to go into the New Year on the same page. Discuss big bills that may be coming up or things that you want to start saving for (i.e. traveling, moving, large purchases). Setting goals and expectations like this will help start off the New Year on the right foot. Also, be sure to talk about your budget often so you can help each other stay on track.

2. Roles. One big source of miscommunication and expectations is how the roles in your relationship are being fulfilled. I know that this is something that comes up quite a bit in our disagreements discussions. So as you start the New Year, talk to your spouse about what you expect out of each other and how you want to take on different roles around the home. Do you expect one person to be in charge of the dishes? Or who is responsible of making sure the bills get paid? Talk opening (and calmly) about fulfilling the roles in your relationship.

3. Goals. Like mentioned earlier, the New Year is a time for setting personal goals and resolutions. Tell your partner about your goals and dreams for the New Year so you can support one another. It is difficult to try and accomplish your goals alone. You will need the support and encouragement of your loved ones. Especially if your specific goals may take time away from each other, explain to your spouse what you hope to accomplish and why so they can understand and help you. Be very open and honest about your goals; don’t hide them from each other. You will need their love and encouragement.

4. Likes/Dislikes. The last inventory on my list I would suggest is to discuss how you feel everything is going so far. Is your spouse doing something you don’t like and really bothers you? Or are they doing something you really like and appreciate and you want them to keep it up? What about what you’re doing right or wrong? Keep in mind, though, that this is not a bash fest. You don’t need to unleash all your feelings that you have been keeping pent up! Talk rationally and calmly about how you feel and why you feel that way. Do not attack or belittle. This is meant to be an open and safe conversation to help strengthen your relationship in the New Year.

These are all just a few ideas that my husband and I have come up with to share. What are some things you think couples should discuss in their couple inventory? What do you and your spouse like to do to keep things on track? Share with us in the comments!