Love Is In The Languauge

October 14th, 2009

I know this darling young family who forbids speaking the “S-word” and the “F-word” in their home. (Their “S-word” is “Shut-up!” and their “F-word” is “Fart!”) Our levels of tolerance for certain words vary across cultures and personalities. Words are part of our heritage; part of our rituals…and they carry powerful meaning! It turns out that even the most annoying phrase in America has been determined. Any guesses what it is before I tell you?

The answer? “Whatever;” as cited here in USA Today.

“Whatever” and “I Don’t Care” are enemies to emotional connections. Marital research shows that it’s not the depth of intimacy in conversation that matters; it’s how couple’s respond and pay attention to each other that determines successful connecting. Believe it or not, couples scoring high on surveys of marital satisfaction spend most of their time talking about such scintillating topics as breakfast cereals, mortgage rates, and the football game.

So, take a stand; have an opinion; choose the restaurant or movie on date-night; reply to your partner’s concerns and views. Without turning towards your partners with interest and awareness, we too easily fall prey to apathy. And pretty soon, “I don’t care” is conveyed as “I don’t care about you!” And the eventual response to that? “Whatever!?”

What phrases do you find most annoying or ineffective in your relationships? Leave your thoughts in the comments.