Facebook & Relationships Series – Post 5 of 5

November 23rd, 2009

Be Unflinchingly Honest with Yourself

Be aware and honest with yourself when feeling the slightest twinge of interest or attraction, when interacting with another person whether over e-mail or at work. It’s not about getting “caught;” it’s about facing why that attraction is important to you. Go into red alert and call out the reserves. Consider what it is in this person that has caused this reaction. Perhaps you feel you’re missing something this person seems to give you. Find another way to obtain it that is safe and secure – and put your energies into finding it in your mate.marriage photo

Be responsibly honest with your spouse, also. A husband facing an uncomfortable but titillating situation at work could open up to his wife by saying, “There is this young woman at work who is always asking for my opinion; she seems to think I have all the answers….I gotta tell you, Honey, it’s made me self-evaluate what’s appealing to me about this. After giving it some thought, I really want to go back and teach. I miss having that kind of exhilarating and healthy influence over a class. What would you think if I went back to the university and taught one night a week?”

If a relationship becomes interesting to you, ask yourself 3 questions:

1) What am I receiving from this connection?”

2) How can I receive the same thing in marriage?”

3) How can I safely fulfill this outside my marriage?”

How do you feel about Facebook? And what are you doing to safeguard your marriage if you have decided to re-visit love-blasts from the past?